Death and Dying – Closure

Live in a way that shows you have given everything to life and

 have nothing left to take with you in death. 

Both life and death are transcendent by nature, each influencing the other.  We like to separate life and death, believing as we do, in a linear progression between these states. But, as we know, life is multi-dimensional and so is death.  Transcendent aspects exist in both.  The decision then comes to us whether we want to engage or ignore these transcendent qualities.

How are you planning to change your life through understanding the transcendent nature of death and dying?

Death and Dying – Transcendence 2

We may think of our lives being bordered by two transcendent events, birth and death.  The energy of transformation is so apparent within these states.  We may think of these events as one time occurrences in our lives. In some ways, this perspective is correct, but in other ways it ignores the transcendent energy we experience throughout our lives.

What does death teach us about the transcendent nature of life?

 

  

Can you think of a time that death (in any form) occurred in your life and this death provided the opportunity for something new to begin?  

Death and Dying- Transcendence 1

Transcendence is a state of transformation. We can see the physical transformations, of course, as life and living transition to death and dying.  Within this transformation, old states are left behind. The states left behind are not only physical, though. In death and dying, relationships are transformed within the self and amongst others.  The transformative power of death and dying touches us on all levels.   

With death and dying, what states are transformed?   

Do we recognize the transcendent nature of death or do we long to hold onto life as it was?

Death and Dying- Ascendance 2

We often think of death as a single, physical experience.  Yet, we can all suffer many small “deaths” throughout our lives and the lives of others. These small deaths may actually propel our ascendance and evolution.  As we learn to understand and respond to these “small deaths”, we come to a greater understanding of the transformative nature of death. We move beyond this moment in time into the possible.

With death and dying, what possibilities are present in this moment and beyond?

How can we ascend “small deaths” in order to come to a new understanding of the significant deaths we all experience in life? 

Death and Dying- Ascendance 1

One of the principles of ascendance is that thoughts and actions should contribute towards the “greatest good for all”.  Our decisions should be made with the understanding that we are seeking the “greatest good” in all situations.  For this understanding to emerge, however, we need a higher perspective than the moment that is directly in front of us.    We need to see beyond ourselves and note the interconnectedness between ourselves, others, and our actions. 

How does death and dying ask us to focus both on what is happening in the moment and also finding a perspective beyond this moment? 

You do not live forever. Your actions do.  What actions are you manifesting that create the most benefit for everyone?

Death and Dying – Awareness 2

Life and living are multi-dimensional experiences.  We live and express ourselves physically, emotionally, spiritually, and in other ways.  What is sometimes overlooked, when we lack awareness, is that death and dying are also multi-dimensional.

 In fact, one of the greatest pains surrounding death and dying is the multi-dimensional aspect. We are often caught by surprise when one or more of the dimensions of death impact us more than expected.   

Picture someone dying or picture your own death. How many dimensions are affected with one person’s death?

How can our understanding of the multi-dimensional process of death help us understand how we share our lives on multiple levels?

Death and Dying – Awareness 1

When we are aware, we react less and reflect more, as awareness asks us to assess the possible actions available.  Too often, we choose actions based on reactive responses that have worked for us in the past. This reactive state is likely to happen in high stress situations, those that death and dying often invoke.   These reactive responses can then cause further pain and confusion, compounding the hurt and loss surrounding death and dying.  Rather than reacting, awareness asks us to reflect before responding.

What are some reactive actions that people may have towards death and dying?

How can our reactions to death and dying cause further pain and confusion?

Death and Dying – Presence 2

As stated, both life and death require our presence, showing up in a way that speaks of meaning and engagement. Unfortunately, the shadow side of presence can also occur in death and dying, life and living.   In the shadow side of presence, we do not show up. We instead ignore, deny, and push engagement of ourselves and others to the side.

When we lack presence, we harm ourselves, as we are not engaged enough to exert our power. When we are partially present or completely absent, we suffer through feeling discouraged and disconnected.  The lack of presence is one way people attempt to cope with death and dying, either their own or those they love.  The thought goes, “If I am not present, than I can not suffer.”  Even in pain, death, just as life, asks us to show up in the best way we can.  Not for the benefit of others, but for our own benefit.  We can, through our presence, acknowledge that death, and in turn life, matters.

What is to be gained by a lack of presence around death and dying?      

 

Do you think people struggle to be present for both death and dying and life and living at the same time?   

Death and Dying- Presence 1

Death and dying tend to awaken different states of presence in people.  One person may be very demonstrative in his or her expressions of grief.  Someone else may choose to be more reserved. Still, another may become angry.   We can not assume how we, or others, will be present, or “show up”, in death or dying. The state of presence surrounding death and dying is a manifestation unique to each person. The same way we respect each person’s choices in life and living, we must do the same with their chosen state of presence in death and dying. 

What states of presence may be invoked by death and dying?

 

  How can we honor the different states of presence that death and dying may elicit- in ourselves and others?

Death and Dying- Choice 2

Each person is free to make his or her own choices in life and in death. We may become judgmental of ourselves and others, thinking life and death must happen in a certain way.

Choices around death and dying may not be seen as choices at all, but rather prescribed actions that someone “must” follow.  These prescriptions may arise form one’s religious beliefs, culture, or family views.   Any and all choices around death and dying are neither “right” nor “wrong”, neither “good” nor “bad”.  The same goes for life and living. Both states ask us to embrace the possibility of choice.  

Do you feel options exist for honoring death and dying, in yourself and others, or do you have certain expectations that must be met? 

How does the honoring of choices in death and dying reflect how we honor choices in life and living?